#13 Failing my client
I recently had a 90 minutes session with one of my clients. We meet every 2-weeks, and we do barter coaching - he coaches me, I coach him. If you're at the beginning of your journey to become a coach, having someone do that, practice, and test on each other's different concepts and tools, I highly recommend it.
Anyway, it was my time to coach him, and I was all set - phone away, closed Outlook, pen, and paper if I needed it. I was all ears to listen at level 3 (fully listening to my client what he's saying, what his body is saying, and articulating what else is happening).
Except, I had moments when I was disconnected, not fully helping my client dig deeper, I got tired really fast, and I started feeling very small. I still kept a good flow, but it wasn't what I expected, and probably it wasn't what my client hoped for.
And I guess it's ok, we all make mistakes, and yes, some sessions will be better than others.
It's ok to fail.
It's ok to feel that you're not in control all the time.
And it's definitely ok not to be fully on every moment of the day.
I learned the hard way that we shouldn't make assumptions - we don't know what the other person already knows or not. It is better to ask.
Don't take it too personally - just because I wasn't at my best that session doesn't mean I'm a bad coach. Instead, I spent some time reflecting on what actually worked and where do I need to improve.
Prep, prep, and more prep. When you get ready for a meeting, a project, a coaching session, what is your intent? What can you do to be present? What is in the way? How can you be your better self in this situation?
Don't let a setback shadow your next actions and/or previous successes.
2 questions I’m reflecting on these days that came for me from this story:
When am I unable to laugh at myself?
What am I settling for?
We always say we should practice self-love and self-acceptance. Easier said than done when you are you’re own biggest critique. Luckily, I was reminded about my inner allies and having them there to support me.
Stay curious,
Flo